It's Sunday night and I find myself sitting in the ICU room at Providence hospital in Everett. I'm holding the hand of my aunt who is on life support. This is the woman who didn't have any kids until I was about 8 years old. For those first years, she claimed I was her kid.
I leaned up and whispered to her and started reminiscing. I'm not sure she knew I was there or if she could hear me. This was entirely for me. I told stories and found myself laughing and crying.
Then it would get quiet and I would sit back down, still holding her hand. Then I'd remember another story and get up and whispered another memory.
She was so funny and alive. She came to my 18th birthday and by the time the party was over, all my friends fell in love with her.
My oldest cousin couldn't say Roberta, so she called her Dodo. And it stuck. I remember being about 10 years old at a family reunion. My older cousin, Kevin, called her Roberta. She stopped and pointed at him. "Listen if you're too big to call me Dodo, then you call me Aunt Roberta, but never just Roberta."
I remembered that vividly and I never wanted to disappoint her so I doubled it to Aunt Dodo.
After a couple hours I leaned over and kissed her and said "I love you Aunt Dodo, Goodbye." Then I walked out never looking back.
Some people have responded to my blog stating that it's OK to stay in and watch TV. Maybe that's right. But I believe we have to live life. If there's something you want to do - do it. If there's something you want to ask or say to someone, but afraid of the answer or not wanting to feel rejection. Go ahead and do it. Rejection is a feeling, proving you are still alive.
All too soon we will be lying in a bed with someone holding our hand and whispering memories. I may want to open my eyes and tell them I love them too or share one more story. Or maybe I just want to sleep and go peacefully. One thing I do know, I do want someone holding my hand.
We all live big huge lives. Think about it, we all have family and friends. We've had jobs we liked and jobs we hated. We've had success and failure. We laugh and cry. Then we end up in a bed connected to a machine clicking away every 2 minutes.
At 3:50 they removed life support and at 4:00 Aunt Dodo had died.
Until Next Time - Wise OUT
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7 comments:
Rick - This was a beautiful tribute to your Aunt. I am so sorry she has passed away, I know how close you were too her.
What a sad time for you Rick. My heart goes out to you.
Sorry for your loss Rick.
Rick,
If we're lucky, we end up with someone holding our hand in our last moments. Even sometimes when we feel we've done the right thing we don't always end up with someone who cares about us enough, or has courage enough, to see us through at the end.
It sounds to me like your Aunt Dodo did the right things and was lucky to have you in her life. As you were lucky to have her. I'm sure you were very, very special to her as you are to me.
Aunt Dodo can never be replaced. I know you will cherish her memory and learn even more from her passing.
Rick, I know for a fact that you were Roberta's favorite nephew. She loved you very much. For 21 years I listened to her brag about you to both family and friends. I am glad you had the opportunity to spend those few hours with her.
Rick, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Roberta, We all loved her so much. I used to love to go to her and Newty's house with mom (Angel Lorraine) and Dad (Denny) I can still remember her voice. She was such a kick in the pants and just wanted to be the best hostess when you came to visit. Newty too. Please tell him how much we care and that Dodo is with him. Oh and to answer your doubt on whether she heard you telling her of all your fond memories she said "Don't be ridicoulous, I heard you, in a kinda sarcastic voice but full of love. She also wants to thank you for holding her hand cause her feet were really cold and she liked the warmth of you. Love you Cousin Rick..
Mikki (Mowbray)
Our Heart goes out to you Rick. May she rest in peace. we're sure she's looking down from heaven to keep her eyes on you.
Our deepest condolences
love
Jay and Earl
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