Looking for someone or having someone find you can be a bit tricky. Everyone is looking for a certain type or they have specific criteria. The problem for me is that I don't really fit into anyones idea of a "good" match.
Search the ads:
Craigslist
gay.com
manhunter
They are all the same. If you are under 30 - you are considered young and lots of guys are looking for this. Let's call these guys, Twinks. The bad news is after 30 in the gay community, you are considered OLD.
If you are rich, I mean really rich. Rich enought to buy guys cars and houses. No matter your age, or size or looks, you are one hot guy.
It's also desirable if you are ethnic, especially Asian or Latin.
Don't think that you have to be a pretty boy to have groups want you. Body types get special attention also. If you are big and hairy (Bears), you can hook up fairly easy. Even if you aren't hairy but simply FAT, there's a group (Chubby Chasers) looking for you.
And of course extremely well endowed guys are always popular.
What's missing from the list? Oh yea, regular sized middle aged middle class guys. We don't have a group. What's so weird about this is that there are a lot more of us than there are of them. So what's the problem?
After extensive research reading the ads (for research purposes only, of course), I discovered that we are our own problem. Here's a couple examples of real ads:
55 yo professional looking for under 30, smooth and Asian go to front of line.
42 yo bottom looking for big > 9 inches hairy top.
And it goes on and on. We are not looking for ourselves, we are looking for something we aren't. We all seem to be trying to live or re-live a fantasy.
I can't do anything about my age, ethnicity, size or money. I'm lucky to even have a job. So in today's environment if I want to be in a desired "group", my only hope is to eat and drink more. I'm fat now, but not nearly fat enough to get into the group. So I think I need to start a special diet. Take note Chubby Chasers, "Here I Come".
While we keep searching for something we aren't, we will keep passing each other in the night, not knowing what a good thing we are missing.
Until Next Time - Wise OUT
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3 comments:
I learned this a long time ago. and still to this day see this. But I think you hit it on the head with saying that most men just want what they can't have. We are looking for something we are not.
I would agree that a nice muscle guy, with baby blue eyes and dark brown hair would be nice, but it's not reality. at least for me. guys are guys, and i've grown to learn that sadly in this community we fit ourselves to be a stereotype.
Be yourself. That's the best way to attract a guy, in my opinion. You are you, and that's why I like hanging out with you.
Ricky: Probably the most satisfying encounters (and those that may become a relationship) are the "unplanned". Being a really OLD guy and before all the Stranger ads and world wide web, I remember sometimes just being lucky. Back then, being gay was more difficult but life somehow seemed simpler. Of course, most gay men have always been looking for the same "Mr. Right". What's new?
And, you are so correct in your "Ships.." assessment. Most guys in this community are just regular (middle of the road) in most every way. Remember, I am one of those type guys who knew you personally and did enjoyed those occasional encounters. And, we were friends, too.
So, Just Relax and try to remember that this life is a mixture of excitement, attraction, affection, fun times, growth times, tough times and all the rest that life has to offer until it's over. You have the wit and humor to entertain almost anyone you choose to befriend! That's a great gift. Trust yourself and you'll ultimately find that Life's Partner (even if they are a lot like you).
It sounds like they're posting for job candidates instead of potential partners. Try paying more attention to guys who intrigue you and don't let the rigid physical requirements conveyed in some of these ads mess with your self esteem.
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