Keep the Toaster?

The Count and I were at the new Elite just before Christmas having a hot chocolate. It's called the new Elite because there used to be an old Elite. Of course it wasn't called the old Elite because no one knew that there would be something new to take it's place. It was simply known as the Elite. The old one was dark, narrow and quite scairy. The new one is actually pretty nice. It has 4 separate sections. The first is the main bar, then you walk into a big pool table room. Off the pool playing room (I wonder if pool playing rooms have a unique name?) is a little lounge with a sofa and a couple chairs. Upstairs is the dart playing room.

The Count and I were in the lounge enjoying our hot drink, when a guy comes in and joins us. He tells us his name is Bill. He is really excited. He's a deacon or something at a Lutheran church downtown. They just sold the parking lot next to them and they have a lot of money. He just won approval by the board of deacons to spend the money and build a new church with low income housing on top. He was so excited.

I was impressed with him. It's kind of sexy to meet someone who has an enthusiasm for anything anymore. He asked us if we knew any architects because it was going out to bid the next month. I actually do know 2 architects so he gave me his card. I sent Bill an email later that week telling him that they would be in contact .

Bill then responded back and asked if I wanted to meet for a drink that night. I said sure. So we met. The more he drank the more obnoxious he got. OK, not obnoxious but I don't know an appropriate word. I lived with an alcoholic for many years and there has to be a word for the way they get. He kept telling me that he was a nice guy.

Later that week he asked if I wanted to go to dinner, so we went to dinner by my place. It was a nice meal, and of course he drank a lot. He told me that he had a drinking problem and he hoped that it wouldn't get in the way of our relationship. I told him we really didn't have a relationship yet, and if we did I couldn't promise that it wouldn't get in the way. I described some of the behaviors that really bothered me. I told him if he really was a nice guy, he wouldn't have to tell everyone. He politely listened.

He stayed over that night. The next morning he wanted breakfast. Sorry I don't have anything in the house to cook for breakfast.
That's OK, just toast and coffee.
Sorry I don't have a toaster. So we went out.

A week later he called me at work and asked if I wanted to go see the new movie Frost/Nixon that night.
Sure OK.
Let's meet at Ruth Cris first for Happy Hour then go to the movie.

The movie started at 7. Happy Hour begins at 4. Because of the bad weather and having to take a bus home, I left work at 4. At 6 I get to Ruth Cris where he has been getting happy since 4. He ordered himself another one and I ordered a water. I didn't want to fall asleep in the movie. I hear it's boring enough without the influence of alcohol.

He then told me the PLAN. I would move into his penthouse, and he would hire a decorator to "fix" up my condo so I could rent it.
"Whoa Dude!" the second time in a month that I've used that expression. "What's wrong with my place?" Walking home later I realized I should have been more shocked that he had moved me into his penthouse. But the condo is a personal attack against my decorating taste.
"Nothings wrong", he says, it just could use some help.

He then fell off his barstool and the waiter came over and told me he couldn't drink anymore. OK, no movie. The check came and Bill was in no condition to even get his wallet out. So I paid the $100 Happy Hour check. I had to walk him back to his place. Once there he gave me a Christmas present. I had no idea we were exchanging presents. I opened it and simply stared at it. A stainless steel toaster! A very fancy and nice one. I knew I had to have the "talk" with him. I also knew I couldn't talk to him then because he was drunk and maybe, just maybe it was the alcohol talking and he really didn't want me to move in.

But then he got out a list of decorators he had put together and told me to investigate each and pick one out! So he had planned this while sober. And he had a listing of jobs available downtown because he didn't want me working way out by the airport. I said I have to go. I'll call you tomorrow.
Don't forget your toaster.

I met him the next day for lunch and told him that his drinking is causing a problem. I wanted to date for a while and see if I could get over this. But he accelerated everything too fast. After a couple dates he had me moving in with him, renting my condo out, and getting a new job.

There's a joke on the streets, (and excuse me if I offend anyone), Lesbians go out on their first dates in a UHAUL. That's how I felt. I told him he was forcing me to make a decision and the decision was I didn't want to go out anymore. He cried, and said he understood. He then got up and walked out.

I felt bad that he cried, but I felt empowered that I am finally taking control of my own life. I got back home and starred at the toaster. Should I give it back? A moral dilema: I still haven't made any toast, just in case.

Until Next Time - Wise OUT

Crotch Less In Seattle

A lot of folks make New Years Resolutions. Eat better, Loose weight, stick to
a budget, Blah, Blah, Blah !!
Send me an email in about a month and let me know how these are going for you.

This year I made no resolutions, but I did promise myself that I was going to teach myself how to sew.
I always buy my jeans at the Gap. I like how they look and they always have my size. Wouldn't you think that 29 or 30 waist and a 30 inseam would be a pretty standard size?
No. I can find 30 waist and 36 inch inseam. What are these guys like 6 ft 8 and weigh 90 lbs? or 42 inch waist and 30 inch inseam. These guys are just opposite. They must look like balloons.

My only complaint with Gap jeans is that they wear out in the crotch. OK make jokes, let's go with the one that my endowment is causing them to rip! I have 4 pair of Gap jeans that are so worn "down there" that I am now crotch less. So on Thursday afternoon, I decided it was now time to learn how to sew. I went to Walgreens and bought a little sewing kit. I opened the kit and it took almost a half hour before I could even figure out how to get the thread off the little spindle thingy. I finally got some thread and then I tried to stick the thread thru the needle holey thing. I remember watching my grandmother licking the end of the thread and simply pushing it through. I swear the holes must have been bigger then. I never did get the thread in the hole. Later in my carpool, they asked me if I tried using the little aluminum thing that is made to thread the needle? I thought that was just advertising thing so I threw that away!

I got frustrated and went back to the store and bought a bunch of iron on patches. I ironed the patch on my first pair of jeans and it stuck!! However, I patched it on the outside so my light blue jeans now have a dark blue patch right on the crotch, from the front all the way back to the ass. Not sure what I'm advertising here.

I got smart after the first one and turned the jeans inside out and patched from the inside. It's amazing they worked. So I'm not crotchless anymore. What a relief. I never did learn how to sew, but I did repair my pants, which really was my goal. So be careful what you ask for, remember it's the end product you are seeking.

Sewing probably will never happen, but I am an ironing GOD.

Until Next Time - Wise OUT