Long Gone Friends

It was New Years Eve and I had about 20 people over to my place for a party and watch the fireworks from my roof top. As with all my parties, there was a curfew. Everyone was expected to leave around 12:30am. The fireworks are over by 12:15 so that gave everyone 15 minutes to say their goodbyes and move on to the next party.

At midnight when the fireworks were going off, I felt totally alone. Even though I was surrounded by loved ones, it was a very lonely feeling. Another year older and still alone. Most everyone was coupled off. I had a lot of emotions and some did see me cry. I felt embarrassed and did not want to ruin anyone's fun.

Just when I recovered from this lonely feeling and I was actually starting to feel pretty good about myself, Valentine's Day rears it's ugly head, and POW knocks me down again. Who's in charge of this ego busting schedule?

Besides these internal feelings, I also recently lost four friends. After faithfully being very dependable for years, my truck stopped working right on I5. I was coming home from a bike ride and my bicycle was in the back. I tried to merge onto I5, but the transmission failed to "jump" into 3rd gear.(See my blog "It Sucks To Be Me") Then it wouldn't go at all. Luckily I was going fast enough so I could pull over to the right shoulder. I called AAA and they sent a tow truck. The guy hooked up my car and actually dropped my truck off at the fix it shop right next to my place. And I got to ride up front with him. It's kind of hot sitting next to a hunky tow truck guy wearing my biking spandex!

The fix it guy looked it over and declared that the truck was on life support. He has been trying to find a transmission for almost a year. He found one but it would cost more than the truck was worth. So I made the painful decision to remove it from life support.

Then yesterday I was down in my garage (secure parking) and I noticed that my bicycle that had been chained to a railing was missing. I searched the garage and it was gone. Someone had stolen my bicycle. It's a Black 2006 Cannondale Bad Boy. It was the best bicycle ever!! Friends have moved up and bought some sort of a carbon bike that is cool, but it's not my Bad Boy. It's not enough that I'm feeling depressed about V Day, but then someone has to steal a bike from someone who doesn't even own a car!

The other two friends that I lost are not dead or missing and I don't want anything bad to happen to them. One has been a "friend" for about 5 years.We've had our ups and downs through the years. But this time it was different. The more I think about it the more I think he was my friend, but I don't think I was his friend. The other is a more recent relationship. I don't have a lot invested in him, but it still hurts whenever you loose someone who you really like. Was this loss my fault? Probably.

Will I miss my 4 friends? Maybe. I already miss my truck and bicycle!

Until Next Time - Wise OUT