match dot com

It had been a couple months since "S" and I broke up. I was tired of going out and hooking up. I was ready for a real relationship. I was surfing the internet and a pop up ad "popped up", hence the name. It was for match.com. Online dating has been successful for many people. A couple years ago I had tried putting an ad on Craig's List. Read my blogs Aug. 2007 titled "Craig's List", "Halfway House Boy", and "40 Year Old Grandpa" to see how successful I was with my last venture into online dating. But now, I was a couple years older and wiser (I hope).

I click on the ad, showing 2 very hot and seemingly happy guys. It took me directly to the registration page. I gave them some personal data and my credit card number. This will cost me $200, just about $200 more than Craigs List cost. In my feeble mind, I'm assuming that "you get what you pay for". I'm dreaming of great guys just waiting to date me, all for $200 for a 6 month trial period.

I spent the next two nights answering all their questions (it's called building my profile), and telling what I'm looking for in a guy. Answering these questions I realized that my standards are pretty low. Non-Smoker, Aged between 30 and 50, and live about 25 miles from my zip code. You would think that would be a lot of guys. In fact they promised that they would send me 5 suggested guys every day! Wow, they made this easy. I actually went into my calendar and blocked out the next several weekends for these match dot com dates.

The first night, I get my 5 suggested dates. I emailed each of them and told them I was interested. This happened for a week, and email to each guy every night. 7 days, 5 guys, 35 emails. Nothing.

Finally in week 2, I get an email from a non-recommended guy. He had read my profile and was interested. OK, that's cool. We sent a couple emails back and forth and then he gave me his phone number. I called him and the first words out of his mouth were:
"You will have to come up to Edmonds, because my car was re-possessed. You will have to pay, because I lost my job last month. It was my 4th job in 3 months!"
He is 47 years old and has moved back home with his parents. I politely told him that I didn't think it was a good match.

Just days later, the second guy was actually a recommended guy. He emailed me and we started a 2 or 3 a day email exchange. He had just moved to Seattle but he was out of town currently for work. Later he told me he was an antique dealer and was in Nigeria. (Why do they always have to be in Nigeria?). He was really nice and he sent me a picture. He was gorgeous. I later found this same picture online on a porn site. But he was smooth. He even called me on the phone every night. He was originally from London and had a hot accent. The emails got more intimate. After about a week he told me that I was the only one who understood him and he was falling in love. Unfortunately so was I.

Then the email arrived, that I knew deep down would someday arrive. It seemed he was stuck in Nigeria and needed money to get out. He actually asked me to wire him some money. How could I be so naive?

Being naive is one thing, but then the 3rd guy showed how stupid I am and I never learn lessons. Take time out now and read my blog from June 2009 - "Cyber Turns Real".

The 3rd guy sends me an email with his phone number. He had just recently came out and wanted to talk. OK, I remember coming out and how I really needed to talk to someone. So I called the guy up. He's an attorney in Boise. I asked when he had come out, and he said yesterday.

He tells me he is 62, that is out of my range, but I'm not an ageist. Some guys in their 60's work out and act young. There were several red flags, and I should have told him to find someone closer to him. He tells me he'd like to come to Seattle and take me to dinner.

OK that would probably be OK. One night listening to his stories and a free dinner. Then he asks can I stay at your place? If you read the above blog, you know that by now I should have learned and said, NO. But, I said Sure. But you can't fly Southwest, You have to fly Horizon if you are coming up here. My friends at work say I would do anything to sell a ticket. In fact I should be nominated for the North of Expected Award. How many people will hook up just to sell a ticket?

He gets here and he is old. I mean really old, not only physically but he is boring. The first day I have to go work and he goes out on his own. The final night he asks if I could teach him how to do a specific act. I tell him NO, it will come natural don't worry about it. You don't need lessons.

After I let one perfect stranger stay at my place, you would think I would have learned. But no. This is the definition of stupidity.

For some reason I thought for $200 I would get quality guys and a lot of dates. Instead I just got more disappointment. The "paid for guys" are the exactly the same as the "free guys". And that's not saying a lot. Back to the drawing board for me. Any suggestions? Has anyone else had these kind of experiences with paid online dating services?

Until Next Time - Wise OUT