Paris Part One

It's been about 5 years since I was last in Paris. I noticed some changes about attitudes towards Americans. Maybe it's because George W. was President the last time I was here. Everyone was friendly, except some weird guy I met at a sidewalk cafe. He was friendly at first, but then it got kind of bizarre. But I did get a white hat from this short but intense relationship. See Facebook for a pic of the hat.

If you believe that the French set the fashion trends for the rest of us, then pay attention.
If you are under 30, long hair is back in style. You should also be wearing capri pants with brightly colored canvas tennis shoes.

If you are over 30, there is only ONE hairstyle, buzzed, with a 2 or 3 day growth on your face. Capri pants are OK too. I did notice that wearing shorts is now way more acceptable than it was on my last visit.

The good news, don't throw away those old plaid shirts you have stowed away, Plaid is the new white. And anything purple is very popular.

Everyone complains how expensive Paris is. I don't know, we ate very good meals at sidewalk cafes and nice restaurants and paid about 20 Euros for the entree. At the current exchange rate that's about $24. That's about what you would pay for a nice entree at a fairly good restaurant in Seattle. But for 20 Euros you get French food and a very romantic setting.

Speaking of food. The French eat like they want to have a heart attack. Very rich, full of creams, cheeses and carbs. But they are all so thin. We never saw one overweight French person. The fat ones were speaking English. I'm not sure how they stay so thin. They eat all day and drink all night.

Another observation is that they all seem to be about the same height. Not overly tall or extremely short. My friend Jeff who is over 6 feet was by far the tallest person we encountered. David, his partner is about my height 5'7". The two of us were definitely in that comfort zone.

The French seem so cool and progressive that it's hard to believe that they are the most Catholic country in the world. But that might explain why we kept running into hordes of children.

The first day we took a train to Versailles. This was the summer palace for King Louise (the some number) and his wife Marie Antoinnette. This also was the palace that the Parisians stormed, captured them and took them to the Bastille to have their heads chopped off.

We get off the train and right between the station and the palace is a McDonalds. David announces that he needs some fries. We go in and find the place is packed with hundreds of kids about 7 years old. All exactly the same size. They are all queued up at the counter to order their little happy meals. But McD's has a kiosk where you can order and pay. We order the 2 fries and 3 Cokes, I take out my Credit Card, swipe and the machine accepts our order. Then immediately at the front of the line, they are yelling that our order is ready. Now that's efficiency. I put the card in my wallet and my wallet in my satchel. I've been warned that you don't want to carry your wallet in your back pocket. We push our way through the 4 ft high 7 year olds to get our fries.

We go sit down and Jeff tells me that I should transfer my wallet to my front pocket. I open my bag and my wallet is gone! In about 2 minutes someone stole my wallet. 500 Euros, 100 USD, American Express, Visa, my ATM card, my company ID, and my ORCA card. This is where I was so stupid. Lessons Learned, NEVER carry more than one card and only the amount of money you will spend that day. I started to panic, but Jeff calmed me down.

I called American Express to cancel my cards. I'm in the middle of the restaurant explaining the situation to a very nice lady at Amex, when in walks Ronald McDonald! Yes, THE Ronald McDonald. He yells "Hello Boys and Girls". Of course he's speaking French. Ronald is like Jesus, he understands and speaks all languages.

Now all of a sudden those hundreds of 7 year olds, leave their line, start screaming and come running towards us. Well not actually towards us, but to the clown who has stategically placed us between him and them. The only thing worse than loosing your identity, your money, and your credit cards, is to be stampeded by hundreds of children. This was God's way of punishing me for going to a McDonald's in Paris. What was I thinking? The best food in the world and I'm at an F'in McDonalds.

The next day we at the Orsy Museum. David and I have to go to the bathroom. As we are leaving, 30 to 40 little 4 year olds come running into the bathroom. They all have to go bad. We are stuck trying to get out. We can't move. The 4 year olds are about 3 feet tall, all the same height. They are all screaming. I'm not sure how they were going to handle this. The urinals were not those type on the floor, they were mounted on the wall. Not extremely tall ones, you know the type where you have to stand on your toes and aim high. But tall enough that these little people would not be able to use. We had to start pushing and stepping over these kids to get out. Luckily for us, we were done and not just going in. If we were just entering we'd probably have to take turns holding these kids up so they could pee.

Loosing my wallet, and all these encounters with children are not exactly what I envisioned when I planned the trip to Paris for Pride. But it is what it is. My next blog will deal with more adventures in Paris.

Au Revoir
Wise - OUT