Wild and Crazy Guy

I was excited when Jeff and David invited me to join them in Paris. I had been to Paris before but never for Gay Pride. Since the last time I was in Paris, they no longer smoke indoors, but they are allowed to smoke at the sidewalk cafes. People also seem friendlier. But that could be because we were staying in the Marias district. This is the gay neighborhood, and it's my experience that the gay hood is more friendly everywhere.

My French sucks, besides yes, no, please and thank you. I discovered that if you say Lemon Shoes, you will get another round of drinks.

Besides Pride, it was also World Cup. The French had already been eliminated but it did not lesson the importance of the event. In America, we really don't understand. It's like playing 2 or 3 Super Bowls everyday for a month. The French President had just called for a special commission to investigate why the French team did so poorly. Everyone was watching, talking or arguing about the games. Outside the Eiffel Tower they had erected a huge TV screen to watch the games. I can't believe how many flags we saw the day we went to the Tower.

On Pride day, Jeff, David and I walked towards the Bastille. The parade was going thru the streets and ending up in this huge square called the Bastille. This is where Marie Anntoinette lost her head. We got there early enough to actually get a seat at a sidewalk cafe. So we sat there watching the parade while drinking wine.

The parade was huge, but there were no floats and no beads. Just these big trucks, bigger than pickups, but not as big as semi's. The trucks were loaded with hot boys. But they were fully clothed. Very few had there shirts off even though it was in the high 80's. The parade was similar to parades you hear about in New Orleans. When you are along the parade route watching, at any time you can simply join the parade. So eventually everyone is in the parade and end up in the Bastille. They estimated that there were 700,000 people at the parade.

After the parade we were talking about what we wanted to do. Jeff mentioned that there was a bar where go go boys took showers above the bar. That sounded interesting but I was more in the mood to participate rather than watch.

David and I decided to go to a bar we found in the gay guide. Here I was in Paris - going out and being nasty and wild. The adreneline was running.

We paid out 20 Euros (including a drink), to get into Le Depot. Le Depot is right next door to the Police Station. We walked in and couldn't see anything. It was pitch black. We both had to pee so we found the bathroom and there's one guy ahead of us in line. The whole bar smells like baking crystal (I'm taking David's word on this), pot (which I do know), urine and sweat.

When the guy comes out it's our turn. David tells me we are going together and not splitting up. We pee and then stand at the sink. Someone did something nasty in the sink. I tell David "Don't touch anything, our dicks are the cleanest thing in the entire bar".

We walk out and try to find the bar. We run into two hot guys with no shirts, but with snakes wrapped around their bodies. The snakes are alive. We immediately turn down a hall to stay away from the snakes, where we run into a naked guy handcuffed on his knees. We move past him and finally enter the bar. We order our drinks, but decide we really want to leave. We had enough.

Paris is way more wild than anything I've ever seen. The Guide actually mentions 3 Fisting Bars, and 5 Golden Shower Bars. Don't feel bad if you don't know what this means, just feel lucky you have the job you have rather than being on the clean up crew at one of these bars.

Somehow we found the exit and started home. Halfway back to our hotels, we saw the rainbow flag flying over an innocent looking place. We agree to have one more drink. After we got in, we discovered it was a karoke bar. The boys were cute (not tweeked out) and fully clothed. You haven't lived until you are having a Bad Romance with Lady Gaga at the top of your lungs with a French accent.

I thought I was kind of leading edge and very cool, but in reality, I'm just Karoke.

Until Next Time - Wise OUT